Friday, October 24, 2014

Sunday Morning Chat...on Friday...

Hello Everyone!

I know I left you all with quite the cliff hanger and from what I gather I have a lot of minds wondering about what's next, who's Bob and so forth.  I also posted on FB that I had left out some details about what life was "really" like with Fred. Basically I got more interest then I expected. I just didn't want to offend in any way, but I get the impression the curiosity is there so I'm going to back track a bit.

First I want to say, I learned a lot from this whole experience, and looking back I see things I should have paid attention to.  I should have made the decision not to move there; however, also looking back I realize I got very wrapped up in the whole exciting and energy that revolved around "I'm moving to Alaska".   People were very excited for me and at some point I felt it crossed to a place where I don't think I would have known how to unwind it all and not move, and in my heart I felt Fred loved me and I loved the feeling of being loved. 

I had gone to visit Fred several times before moving there.  I was fortunate in the fact work paid for many of the trips because where Fred lived was in my work territory.  I also had tons of airline miles so I could get free airline tickets.  Fred and I also met in Seattle, WA to spend time together as well, in fact Fred proposed to me on a horse drawn carriage ride in Seattle before I moved there.  How romantic is that.... all part of why it was hard to unwind.

During the visits I had my relationship with Megan and Michelle began to grow, in fact I had a better relationship with Michelle at that time, then I did after I moved there.  Megan was starving for any sort of mother image she could get her hands on, so she was close to me instantly. She had my phone number and would call me on her own whenever she wanted to, which I was happy about.

Megan had a pet horse, I forget the name anymore, it's been 10 years now, it was an old horse, and she loved it to no end. Megan had a few pets around there and she mothered all of them.  She had a dog as one of her pets, this particular dog wasn't a mushing dog.  She worked with this dog all the time and it knew all sorts of tricks.  Well one day I get a phone call and Megan is just sobbing on the phone, to the point it was almost impossible to understand her.  It turned out her horse had died.  Now, this little girl had a heart as big as Alaska and was super sensitive. I knew this and I had only known her a very short time.  Well instead of having it hauled off and having a memorial to the horse, or burring the darn thing in the pasture, Fred strung it up in front of the pole barn right outside her bedroom window and proceeded to butcher it for the dogs to eat.  I was so pissed at him.  But to him, it was practical. 

That was the first of many animals I saw strung up and butchered.  I wasn't bothered by any of the others, they were our food and had been fed, fattened up, and grown for that purpose.  I am a meat eater, so animals sacrifice their life for me to eat.  I know this, and understand it.  I also respect it, and the one thing I've learned over the years is that most people who kill their own food do it in a fast and respectful manner.  I prefer that any day over how commercial animals are handled. Fred was no different.  I watched pigs get killed and they never suffered, they also lived a comfortable life up until that moment.  But I thought what he did with the horse was horrible and unforgivable.  It hurt Megan deeply.

Megan also struggled in school. She had a hot little temper at times and it got her in trouble quite often.  As I had mentioned previously Fred paid little attention to anything related to school and education, and was all to happy to pass that off to me.  So, I started hearing from the teacher on a regular basis.  Most issues were manageable because I had a way with Megan, and I could usually get her squared away pretty easily.  Then one day I got a call from a teach about Megan being pretty mean to this one little boy.  Now you all know by now Megan had been through hell and back already in her life.  During the conversation the teacher says to me., " I know Megan has been through a lot, and I can't tell you any details here, but no matter how bad Megan's situation has been, this little boy's situation is much worse".  I didn't know what to think or say.  I thought, OMGoodness what could be worse then what Megan has gone through with her mother and then being left with Fred as the person you had to rely on for life itself.  Well time went by, I continued to work with Megan the best I could, I was living there full time and the days clicked by slowly.  I got to know a mother of one of Megan's friends and she stopped by one day.  We were chatting at the table and I shared with her what the teacher had told me.  Well this was a small town so she knew all the details.  This little boy's Dad had a fight, disagreement, grudge, whatever you want to call it with another man.  So instead of handling it like a man should and setting a good example for his two boys (the little boy had a brother), this Father shot and killed the man, strung him up like a deer and gutted him in front of his boys.

He did go to prison for this crime, but an important part of this is how people view things up in the wilderness there.  It is truly the last frontier and I learned many of the people who live in the wild do so because the can't deal with normal civilization.  In a few of the comments I've received over the time I've written this story a few people have said, "I don't know how you didn't knock Fred's block off"...(something to that context)... this is why.  I chose to stay alive.  To this day I believe Fred had the ability to do bad things.  He never laid a hand on me, but I also didn't give him reason to.  I played the game and made my plan to get the heck out of there.  There would have been no benefit to irritating him for me.

Now you can also understand why my decisions I made for leaving were so critical. Each one had to work and each decision was important.  Even up until the day I picked up Lisa at the airport, I got meat out of the freezer as if I was going to be cooking dinner that night for everyone.  I kept it looking like no surprises were coming, life was going as he wanted it to, dinner would be made like he wanted and so forth.

This bring me back to where I left off from last week.  I don't want you to have to wait a whole week again, so I will pick up there and write a bit more.

I was driving what was now "Fred's" truck back to the house and Lisa was driving the rental.  The way the driveway was we needed to have a clear path out of there and it was a skinny, very, very long driveway, almost like a short road, so the big truck I was driving needed to be parked somewhere else so we could load the rental and get it out again.  I hid the truck further down the road we lived on, there was so much snow back there, so I just kind of stuck it back there hoping I would get it out again.  Lisa had the rental in the driveway and we quickly gathered my last few belongings.  Talk about your heart racing, my heart was going a million miles an hour.  We still had things to pack.  I had suitcases hidden under the bed that were half packed, but we had to throw the remaining items in there and get them in the rental. We were flying, and we weren't neat about it.  The last thing I did in that bedroom was throw the cell phone he had give me on the bed. We got it all loaded up and then I needed to get the big truck back and then we were out of there.  The big truck was a one ton dual wheeled diesel that was 4-wheel drive and had a long bed on it, so it was good size. In Alaska is was common.  I went to get it and it started to be stuck. I thought holy crap, you have got to get out of here.  I tore it up getting it free, but I could have cared less, I just wanted it in the driveway so everything looked normal.  I finally got it over there and Lisa and jumped in that rental.  We were backing down that long driveway and I could hardly breath.  To this day I can remember the feeling as I made the turn backing out of there that put me on the road.  As the rental turned, I looked at Lisa and said, "I'm free".  I immediately started feeling relaxed.  Just writing this I can feel those feelings again.

I called Bob because he was waiting to hear from me, he had told me he was really worried about how it would all go and had told his secretary that if I called he was to be interrupted.  I really appreciate him, without him during those last few days it would have been much harder if not impossible to accomplish getting out safely.  Lisa and I were in a comfortable 4 wheel drive rental SUV, we had a 4star hotel room waiting for us in Fairbanks, all paid for by Bob! And we were free.  We now had 4 days to wait for our flight out of there. 

I will leave it here and pick up with this next weekend!  I hope you enjoy the read!

Hugs, Jane


  1. I'm glad you were able to be a good role model for Meagan during your time in Alaska. Poor Megan, seeing her horse strung up in front of her bedroom window & seeing her horse "strung up and butchered"! That would give me nightmares!! Oy vey, my friend, what you went through! I'm glad Lisa and Bob were there for you to help you get away from Fred. That poor boy!! My heart just breaks for him.

  2. Whew! I could feel myself starting to become afraid with fear that you wouldn't get that truck back in it's place and get out of there! I have been so intrigued with Alaska and enjoy many of the Alaska shows on TV. Your story gives yet another view of Alaska that you don't see on TV. I can't wait till next week to read about your departure from Alaska and Bob!

  3. for a minute there, I thought you were going to say Fred was there and you couldn't get out!! The more we hear about Fred, the more I feel for how bad it was there for you. I am so glad things turned out well for you, even though it took awhile.
    You left use with another cliff hanger!! Till next week...

  4. Wow, I felt like I was there, you described it so well. Those poor children, my heart breaks for them. I thought Fred would come home while you were trying to get the truck unstuck! Not anything of what TV makes Alaska like at all! Very well written and I am looking forward to hearing more.

  5. My blood pressure went up just waiting for you to get out of there!! Another chat coming on Sunday? :)

    1. I know, it was a scary time, believe me. I did this chat early because we will be gone this Sunday, so it will be the following Sunday - sorry it's a while in between this next time.

  6. I knew Alaska was "the last frontier" and is pretty rough from research I have done about Alaska and that more people just disappear in Alaska than anywhere else. Be it foul play, wildlife or getting lost in the back country. I said the first week or two that I think Fred killed someone or he was killed and my gut is still telling me that. I was holding my breath when you were telling about the truck getting stuck but because you are here to tell us about it I knew Fred didn't show up. He doesn't sound like the kind of animal that would let you go easily. My heart broke when I heard about what that boy's father did in front of his children! What a pig! (trying to be polite) Looking forward to hearing more.

  7. I may be making a mountain out of a mole hill but my gut is telling me that Fred, who misses nothing, is in fact Bob. What an adventure you were on. I can't wait until the next Sunday...