As Bob shared with me the reason why I shouldn't know about everything in life as we lay in bed talking, he also said something that said so much in so many ways. He reminded me of how he hadn't always had plenty of money. I knew this about him.
Bob had grown up one of 9 children, all boys. They had been very poor. They couldn't afford much for clothes so they were given white undershirts to wear for their shirts, and they of course they ate leftovers whenever there were any. Bob had taken off as a teen and never looked back. He had been determined to carve a different life out for himself. He had gotten his first wife pregnant when they were dating as young adults and so he had married her. He was a young man with a young family to take care of.
As we lay there talking he reminded me of this and added, so you know, I had to do things I'm not proud of. He told me he had to get involved in the drug industry. He quickly followed up with, I never did any drugs, I was smarter then that, I could see there was plenty of money to be made in the industry so I did that until I got on my feet as an adult, and "of course" I don't do it anymore. Then I heard, "you don't think any less of me do you". Of course I said, "no, no, you had to do what you had to do to put food on the table, I get it". He again reiterated how he was no longer involved in the drug industry.
Meanwhile I'm thinking about his current lifestyle. Bob was still paying the house payment on his ex-wife's house which was a nice place in a very nice neighborhood. He too lived in the same neighborhood and he was paying for his own house. Then his youngest was in a very exclusive private Christian Boy's High School, which of course he was paying for. We ate out every night, oh and btw - Bob never ever at a left over. He rarely ate a full plate of food, in fact he intentionally didn't eat all his food to watch his weight, but he never took a bite home. He bought me anything and made sure I wanted for nothing.
Bob also had another tell tale part to his life style. Bob traveled to Miami all the time with his buddies to play golf. He played at all the best clubs, if you recall me mentioning how he had the towels framed in shadow boxes in his family room.
He had also started discussing how we were going to handle Christmas dinner. Now, mind you, the only people coming to Christmas dinner were his two sons, the one son's girlfriend, his grandson, and myself. A real small group, yet Bob wanted to have Turkey, Ham, sides, and Tippins Pies (very costly pies). He didn't want me to cook these items either, he wanted to it catered.
As I laid in bed I thought back on my childhood. I had a step-grandfather that lived across the street from us. He became my step-grandfather when his son married my Mom. He always had rolls of hundreds on him, money was spent like he needed to get rid of it, and he always went to Miami to see is buddies, and he went by "Eddie", and yes, he was in the mob. I could tell you stories about my life with him in it that would be a whole knew blog short story.
Basically, as I lay there thinking about it all, I had to admit to myself the truth and that I knew what was up. I didn't want to believe it, but how could I not? Yet here I had met a man so different then Fred, I wanted it all to not be true. I loved my new life style. Who wouldn't, I mean money grew on trees so it seemed. Actually, when I was honest with myself, money was something he wanted to have go through is hands quickly. As much as I enjoyed it all, as I fell asleep I knew I needed to plan escape #2. I had never asked questions but I knew a lot.
I continued on as if things were normal. I came home to his house every day from work, went out to eat each night. Spent time with him and his family when they came around and I helped plan the Christmas dinner. This dinner was very important to him. Family was important, and he was falling in love with me, he had told me he loved me many times. He wanted to spend Christmas with me in his life. I on the other hand knew the relationship would need to end, so when he expressed his love I had to struggle to say something appropriate in return. I picked my words carefully. I could tell that frustrated me. He wanted me to need him more, rely on him more, and love him more. He wanted me to cut ties with Lisa, but instead I was planning to finally use that new bed I had purchased.
I bought Bob Christmas gifts that were in line with my budget and I also bought gifts for his family. It was hard, I knew the end was near. In the mean time I was looking at all the clothes that had made their way to his house. Leaving was once again going to be a chore. What was wrong with me...geez. I must be part gypsy that never wants to see a red flag!
Christmas eve came and Bob wanted to exchange gifts between him and I. He wanted it to be romantic when no one else was there. I expected gifts similar to what I had purchased for him, which had been clothing, and a few other things I thought he might enjoy. The first box he handed me was small. I thought to myself, omgosh, new sweaters don't fit in boxes like this.... he was beaming with excitement for me to open my gift. I did, wow, 1/2 carat each diamond earrings! I wanted to cry for all the reasons he wouldn't have understood. I immediately said, "Bob, these are too nice, too expensive, I can't accept a gift like this". He took that as, "what a sweet girl, she's not a gold digger", rather then "she wants the heck out of this relationship and now she feels even more hooked in". Then I got box #2. It was small as well, but longer. I opened it, again Bob was all smiles. I about fell over, it was a Movado watch with diamonds all around the face. Really!!! The gifts were beautiful of course, what girl wouldn't love them. How do you leave a man like this. How was I going to leave a man like this.
I gave him his sweater I had bought... he loved it. The next day was Christmas, and believe it or not, the day that I left.
More next week.....