Sunday, August 16, 2015

Life in Carmel Woods

My Mom was busy working for the alcoholic again, she of course was enjoying the new wardrobe, but there was nothing worse then her working.  She reminded everyone of the huge favor and sacrifice she was making for the family on a daily basis.  Yet she ran the show and did very little where she worked.  She had the owner eating out of her hands.  He paid for everything for her all the way down to gas for her car because she would complain she didn't haven enough to get to work and back.  She was a master manipulator when it came to this man.  He liked her, there was no doubt about it and he played right into her hands.  She even had him paying for our family vacations.  He was so drunk most of the time I don't think he knew what he was agreeing to anyway.  I met him a few times, yet I doubt he ever remembered me.  So, she had it easy as you can image, but you would have thought she toiled away all day in a building with no heat or airconditioning for minimum wage by the way she carried on.  I learned one thing for sure, you better be gratefuly and appreciative for all she was doing for the well being of the family...we owed her big time and she didn't let you forget it.  Forget the fact I took care of everything that didn't require a car all week long.  She didn't have to clean one thing.  She didn't do a shred of laundry.  She didn't touch a dirtly dish.  And, she sure didn't bother raising her second child.  I did it all for $20 a week.
And, they wondered why I was so happy to leave on Friday night!  I used to count my days and nights privately all week waiting to leave again, but the fact I was happy on Friday to leave was impossible for me to completely hide.  I wasn't even supposed to look "neutral" about it, I was supposed to be bummed out I had to go.
My weekends were amazing and something most kids never get to experience.  There was definitely an underlying tension that never went away.  It hung around like a dark cloud.  Meanwhile my Dad has really become successful.  His house at the Lake of the Ozarks where we went every weekend, had been added on to and finished beautifully.  It was a house straight out of a magazine, all 3,000 sq ft of it.  Betty had always had an interest in interior decorating so she took a class on it (of course my Mom said it was some stupid thing that meant nothing).  The house sat tucked away in it's own cove on three lots, so there was plenty of privacy.  My Dad continued to own big boats, so he had a big dock, it had a swim deck, slide, and a place for a ski boat as well.  We were living large.  We stayed at the house some weekends and just went for rides on the boats and some weekends we met up with friends with big cruisers like ours and we all "coved out" for the weekend and would swim, have bbq's together and take our smaller ski boats we had pulled with us to go out and ski.  It was amazing fun.  My Dad was living fast during those years.  He worked really hard, and he played equally as hard.  Around that same time he also became a private pilot.  We would rent planes and he would fly us around on a sunny day.  He had motorcycles, Corvettes, jet ski's - money was flowing freely.   This was now my "other" life.  I had to come back on Sunday night and pretend I didn't have a good time and go through "20 questions".  It was horrible.
It was true Betty and I were not close and she was all about her daughter she had with my Dad, and she didn't like that my Dad and I had a lot in common, but even with all that, the weekend was soooo much better then the weekdays!
My Mom was figuring it all out.  It was good she couldn't see the weekend life, but she was figuring out there was a lot more money flowing then she wanted to believe could be true.  She had told him he would never amount to anything, he would always be a greasy mechanic, so this was really making her crazy.
Then one weekend my Dad needed to bring the ski boat home for a repair.  He towed it back and it was with us when he dropped me off on Sunday night.  When I got dropped off she and Butch were waxing the car, a 76 Monte Carlo, red with a white vinyl top (I can remember these events like they happened earlier today), she got one look at that boat and you could see the change in her eyes.  She was pleasant.  In fact too pleasant.  All four of them chatted outside for quite some time.  My Dad was saying more then he should I'm sure, and she was gathering her info like she always did for later use.  By the time they left dusk had fallen upon the evening and she could not finish waxing her car.   All of a sudden it became my fault she couldn't finish it up.  She was all over me.  Her jealousy was so bottled up she didnt' know what to do with it, and I was the obvious place to let loose.  I couldn't do anything about it.  She couldn't go after Butch, nor could she go after his child, but I had no protection.  I got in trouble for coming home when I did and for being so "damn" happy.  I took the verbal abuse for as long as I could and I finally decided I had nothing to lose and I struck back.  I told her I would "call next time to see if it was ok to come home", and "of course I would be happy on the weekend, look at the difference in how I was treated".  She went nuts, how dare I talk back, I was supposed to be grateful, look at the sacrifices she was making... this was the beginning of big changes.  She started yelling at Butch that night because he "wasn't doing anything" and I was standing up for myself.  Butch fell into her trap and he had me backed in a corner with his fist in my face tell me if I spoke another word I would feel what that fist felt like.  It was a mess and I never wanted to come back there again, but I was still young, couldn't drive, I was stuck.
The stress of each day after that was unbearable.  She told me almost every day "You've ruined our summer, my life, my marriage, and our entire family".  So one day I asked if I could take a bus and go to the mall.  The mall was about 20 minutes away. She agreed to let me because "she wanted me out of her face anyway".    I went to the bus stop, but I must have been late because the bus never came......  I will forever thank God that bus never came, because what happened after that changed my life in a huge way for the better.... unfortunately things had to get a lot worse before they got better, but they got better, and it's all because that bus never came.....

Talk to you more next week!


  1. Oh my goodness Jane. You just left us hanging again! At least we know things do get better.

  2. I hate to say this about your Mother but she seems so mean spirited, she must have had a miserable life. I'm going over things in my head that might have happened to you to make things better, I have an idea but I'm just hanging here waiting until next week. You really have a knack for leaving us dangling in the wind!

  3. Can't wait to read the rest, I know it got better because you seem to be a very happy person now. I think sometimes when life is not going the way a person want it to go, they strike out at everyone around them to try and make them as unhappy as they are.