Hello Everyone! I want to thank all of you who have stopped by the read and take an interest in my life. Many of you have left very sweet comments after reading various segments I've posted. I really appreciate your kindness and the recognition of my strength to have risen above the experiences of my childhood years.
Before I continue with my life story, I also wanted to respond to the many inquiries Mike has received asking how I am doing. I'm happy to say "Thank you" for the many prayers and well wishes, because I'm doing much better. I haven't had any more panic attacks, my heart doesn't feel like it's going to race right out of my chest and I've been able to relax more. My craft room is organized, and while I haven't crafted as of yet, I'm hoping to start making Christmas cards next week. The one thing I have noticed is that I haven't felt this "safe" and relaxed since before I was involved in social media. I like how I feel so I've made the decision not to return to social media with the exception being that I will continue to blog. I will simply socialize with my close virtual friends. I may try to find a small group or community where I can share pictures of my work and get inspired by others, but I haven't decided on that for sure yet.
Ok, back to where I left off.
My Mom and Butch arrived back home before my Dad could make it out there. I was a nervous wreck. I handed the paperwork to my Mom and said, "this came while you were gone". She opened it up and went nuts. She didn't know who to be swearing about first, she was swearing about my Dad taking her to court over the custody, and swearing at me for answering the door. I think I even learned a few new words that morning. She was yelling at me "who in the hell do you think you are answering the door, you don't live here". Then she would switch to "and if your _____ Dad thinks he's getting custody, he has another thing coming to him". The whole time I'm thinking a million thoughts... what if my Dad doesn't get custody, how will I finish school? where will I go to school? how is this all going to work out? and "where the heck is he, I need him to pick me up!!!!" Finally I heard a honk outside and I was out the door, but not without hearing "get the hell out of my house and don't you ever come back". So much for my first visit back to see my so called family, and all the while stood my 7 year old little sister, listening and taking it all in. I don't know who suffered the most damage that morning. I guess it would be a toss up.
After I got in the car with my Dad and shared with him how it went, which by theh way, he felt terrible about, I learned what was probably her biggest reason for being so mad. The divorce decree stated my Dad had to pay child support while she had custody of me, so even though I was no longer living with my Mom, my Dad was paying her weekly for my support. She didn't want to lose her income. And, of course she wanted my dad to "PAY" in every way she could think of because she was just plain angry at the world.
Needless to say there were no more visits out there, at least for quite some time. I missed Michelle and worried about her all the time. That never left my mind, even as I grew up, the worry changed over to guilt, and at times regret.
Meanwhile I went to school at Webster Groves High School. I was now in 10th grade. I had started Kindergarten at 4 years old, so I was always the youngest kid in the classroom. I was now 15. I did well in school, somehow by the Grace of God I had always done well in school. I was a straight A student with the exception of gym class. I didn't like this school much though. There were a lot of kids in class that were disruptive and many of the teachers spent a lot of time "babysitting" rather then teaching. It wasn't good because I needed something to focus on and keep my mind off of my life. Plus I really did enjoy learning, I liked school overall.
The court date was nearing and it was constantly in the back of my mind. I didn't know what to expect. My Mom was such a loose canon. I also didn't know what would be expected of me there. I was 15, I had never been through anything like this. I did know one thing, my Dad had to win custody and that worred me too... what if he didn't win, then what would happen to me. I was a ball of knots at times over it all.
Finally the day arrived and we all went to the courthouse, my Dad, Betty and myself. We got called for our case to be heard and wouldn't you know it, my Mom didn't even bother to show up. Her attorney was there to represent her. She was making her statement to let me know I wasn't worth her time and she had no interest in having me as her daughter. She may have thought it was her last hourah, but it was my ticket to freedom and I couldn't have been happier that she didn't show.
The judge asked her attorney first to hear what he had to say and he said some garbage about me being an unruley child that was difficult to handle and other nonsence I can't even remember. So then the judge asked my Dad if he found the statements my Mom's attorney had said to be true. My Dad responded of course with "no, he found me to be a very compliant and easy child to deal with". The the judge asked me who I wanted to live with and I said of course, "my Dad". At that moment, he put down the gavel and said, "custody is awarded to the Father, Mr. Robert ____". and it was over! I felt like I was walking on air when I left there, we were all smiles, for the first time in many years we were all free of my Mom, she no longer had any control over any of us!! What a day it was. We all went to lunch to celebrate.
From that day forward I felt like I could really start my life, make plans, actually live like normal, oh my gosh it felt good. In all my happiness and changes in life something else was developing. I had caught the eye of one of the guys who worked for my Dad. He had caught my eye the moment my Dad introduced us when I moved in with him. He was 4 years old then me and he was really good looking.
Some people are put in your life as Angels, they are people you never forget. This guy, who's name was Richard, but he went by "Dick", was definitely an Angel.
I'll continue with this segement next week.... and if you think life is settled forever, you would be wrong... it couldn't be that easy now could it..
Thanks for dropping by!