Sunday, October 25, 2015

Life Settles Down for a While

They say you "never forget your first love".  Well, I guess that's true in a sense, I have never forgotten my first love, but I've also not forgotten other loves througout my life either.  I think you just remember meaningful love in general.

Dick was my first love, but more importantly he was one of a few Angels that have passed through my life just when I needed them most.  The day I met Dick was just another day.  I had walked up to the Station which was only 2 blocks from our house and my Dad was talking to Dick.  He immediately introduced me to him.  I was smitten at that very moment.  Dick had deep brown eyes that felt like they could see the core of your soul through your eyes.  I remember thinking how he must have a girlfriend, and if not, plenty of girls to choose from.  I didn't think he would ever be intrested in me, 4 years younger, the bosses daughter, still had my braces on....need I say more..?

I did find out he had a job at the Dairy Queen down the street as a Manager.  He was apparently keeping it a while longer until he was sure things worked out for him at the Station since he had recently been hired on there.  One evening I had been at the school for a group I was part of and afterwards we decided to go to DQ to get an ice cream.  Much to my excitement he was working.  To be honest, I just enjoyed catching a glimps of him.  As we were all sitting there chatting and laughing, next thing I know he comes over and sits next to me and asks how I'm doing.  I couldn't believe it. My heart was racing inside, but this time for good reasons.  We chatted a bit and then he went back to work.  Well, now I was sure I was in love...  so funny how things are at that age.

The very next weekend, on Saturday I walked up to the Station to say hi to my Dad and hang out a bit.  I had an alteriative motive, Dick worked on Saturday's and I wanted to see him again.  Well much to my disappointment he was off work.  It turned out he only worked every other Saturday and this was not his Saturday to work.  I hung around a bit, trying my hardest to not let any disappointment show.  No one knew I had this crush on Dick.  As I was walking across the lot, much to my surprise, he pulled in, and when he did, he got out of his car, looked across the roof at me and motioned for me to come over.  I wanted to turn around and see who was standing behind  I could not believe he wanted to talk to me.  So I walked over and we started chatting.  He wanted to know what I was up to and if I was busy.  Of course I wasn't.  He told me he had a bunch of errands to run and asked if I wanted to ride along and keep him company., ride around with you for a while, I couldn't believe it.  I checked with my Dad who was fine with it and off we went.

Dick was really sweet.  He was very curious as to what had happened with me, because he was hearing bits and pieces around the Station.  Despite the fact he grew up in a solid family, he was very compassionate about my situation and was not judgemental in any way.  I don't think the butterflies settled down in my stomach for hours after he dropped me back off.

This went on a few more times, we just kind of hung out together, until he asked me to go to dinner and ice skating.  By now he knew all about Michelle, my Mom and all the dynamics related to how I ended up at my Dads.  The cool thing was, he not only asked me to dinner and ice skating, but he told me if I could get it worked out, he would drive me to Michelle's so she could join us and I could spend time with her.  I couldn't believe it.  It was such a generous offer and I had not seen Michelle in months by now and boy did I miss her.  Now I just had to figure out how to make it happen.

I was desperate to see Michelle, so getting up the nerve to call my Mom wasn't that hard. Besides what could she do to me that she hadn't already done?  He nosiesness and curiousity far outweighed anything else, so she was happy to let us come out and pick up Michelle.  Michelle was so excited.  This is where Dick was an Angel.  How else would I have been able to see Michelle?  I couldn't drive out there myself yet.  So his volunteering this gift was amazing and life changing for myself and Michelle.

We drove out there and those old familiar knots were right back in my stomach.  I didn't know how she would behave around Dick and I didn't want her to act like a fool and embarass me.  I'm sure she knew he had been told plenty about her, so she acted like June Cleaver.  She had cookies to serve and behaved as if she was Mother of the Year.  She welcomed him with open arms, took an interest in him, and chatted away.

We had a wonderful night after we left.  We laughed, Dick teased and had fun with Michelle at the ice rink.  It was a night you never forget.  One of those memories that brings that same smile right back to your face.  I was really falling for Dick, but in a deeper way because now he had helped my heart in a deeper, healing way, like only an Angel can do.

There were more nights like that to follow and many more memories made. Dick even started spending his weekends with us when we went to Lake of the Ozarks.  He would ride down there with us and help my Dad around the house during the day, then we would go out at night together.  I was, for once in my life, looking forward to each day, sleeping well, and feeling some peace.  He helped me find this place in my life, and for that I was so grateful.  I was also learning.  I was learning what it felt like to be normal, for me it didn't come natural.  Dick was patient, fun, and had a calmness about him that I loved.  His personality was consistent, he didn't anger easy, his behavior was predictable.  I was trusting him and it was such a breather in my life, one I had never experienced before.

Dick and I continued to create memories for two years.  A lot changed during those two years, which I will cover next week.  If I leave you with anything this week, let it be that dropping my walls was so worth it.  Not everyone is out to hurt you, and by taking a leap of faith to trust, I let such joy into my life.  I'm thankful I learned this early in life, because it allowed me to feel joy, love, and every other wonderful emotion starting with him through present day.



  1. I'm so glad things are becoming normal for you so some of the anxiety will go away. You've lived with so much stress for such a young girl, I'm glad you found your first love. His kindness toward Michelle says a lot about his personality and maturity. I'm hoping your Mother stays out of your life and doesn't mess things up for you.

    I'm so glad you're writing again, you have such talent for it. I hope you're feeling so much better without the pressure of social media...I have to tell you though that your leaving left a big hole in my life that I haven't been able to fill. The important thing is for you to heal and feel safe again...I want only the best for you and Mike. I have been scrapbooking again which makes my kids happy and I'm really enjoying it too. I posted a comment last week but evidently it didn't take as it's not in the comment section. Bye for now...until next Sunday!

  2. Beautiful memories are so precious! Thank you for sharing that with all of us! Love you, sweetie!

  3. Hi Jane !!! So glad that you feel up to writing !! I hope you are doing some crafting, or whatever makes you happy !! I miss you......Love ya !!! Joy

  4. Hi Jane, You really do have a talent for writing and keep going. I think it helps to talk to someone and a lot of people care so much about you. I know I do:-) Your Friend, Joyce

  5. Hi Jane! So glad to see you are up to writing. I really enjoy reading your posts. I'll be waiting for the next one! Take Car!

  6. I absolutely love your writing. Such a good story teller. So happy that you are sharing your life, although it isn't uplifting and a life that no one should have at such a young age. Your talent in writing, makes it very interesting, leaving the reader with anticipation for the next chapter. ��